WARNING: Now that I am full of Ikea meatballs and macaroni and cheese (and ok, some chocolate cake too) I realize that this entry is not clever, well written, or particularly interesting. It was the screaming echoing in my head, I think. Or the low blood sugar.
Screamy McCranky is down for his second nap of the day. It's 11:30.
It started yesterday at the grocery store. We were in the checkout lane. Charlie was chewing on the buckle for the seatbelt in the cart. "Charlie" I said calmly "Please don't put that in your mouth."
The poor cashier started frantically searching for a balloon to calm him down. "He's fine" I said with a warm smile concealing my inner "Dude, what the hell?" I had to raise my voice to be heard over the screaming. Other shoppers smiled at me sympathetically as I rolled him out of the store, still screaming.
Since then he's been FREAKING OUT over even the smallest request.
"Don't touch the fireplace"
"Please sit on your bottom"
"Stay out of the dog food"
"Make Mama a cocktail"
It's the exact same scream every single time. And while his mouth is conveniently open for the screaming, he holds his gums with his hand as if to say "My teeth hurt, I need to touch the fireplace/jump on the chair/set fire to the curtains."
What on earth are you supposed to do? Should there be no rules when they are feeling bad?
I figured the best way to keep from completely losing my mind by the end of the day was to keep him away from temptation. So we've been doing lots of snacks, books, really annoying TV shows featuring purple dinosaurs that have a magical effect on him, and naps. And also Motrin.
If you haven't heard anything else from me by Friday send help.