After nearly a month and a half of fiddling around, researching, head slamming, and swearing, the flipping thing finally works. Well almost. I still have a few kinks to work out. But here is the fake data I've been longing to create.
Thank you Dr. Advisor for holding my hand as though I was a wee undergrad research assistant again. For together we equal two brains, you have 1.75 and I have the other 0.25.