Thursday, August 17, 2006

"You're gonna have a BIG baby!"

Ryan and I both are both a little flakey right now and my poor car is paying the price. You may remember from the last post that I left my door open all afternoon on Monday. Last night Ryan and I took a test drive/trip to the grocery store and this morning when I got out to my car, the driver's side window was wide open. I think the take-away lesson from these events is that our neighborhood is a lot safer than I give it credit for (or maybe there are just more lucrative theft targets than a 2000 Dodge Neon). I'm still glad my garage door opener remote is cleverly hidden.Last night we went to another childbirth class. The instructor, who had clearly forgotten our little exchange from last week, waved her Diet Dr. Pepper in front of the class and said "Wow, I'm sleepy, I need a caffeine fix and it's only 7:00 at night!" I emmitted a low growl while Ryan patted me reassuringly on the back and gave me his best "I know she's crazy, Sweetie, but let's keep it between us today, whaddaya say?" look.The class was structured much like last week's: a lecture about what to expect at the delivery and a terrifying 45 minute moan and scream filled video followed by a reward. This week's reward was the "relaxation techniques" activity. Part one: husband gives wife a long back rub, trying out different massage techniques so we can figure out what I like best. What I like best is being encouraged to go to my happy place while Ryan rubs my back, whatever the technique. After I tried out the techniques on Ryan we moved to the floor to practice combining the massage with the breathing (which I did because I was afraid if I didn't participate in the breathing Ryan would stop rubbing my back). I practically had to be carried to the car. It was GREAT.This morning at the coffee shop, the lady with the parrot asked me when the baby was due. I said "November" and smiled politely. Eyes wide, she said "Wow, you're going to have a BIG baby." I don't know what my face looked like but it must have been pretty funny because she instantly stammered "I mean, you look great!" Take note: if you can't think of what to say to a pregnant lady after you've asked about the due date, say something safe like "You must be so excited!" or "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?" but stay away from comments about her appearance, positive or negative, unless you want to be the subject of a blog or incredulous phone call to her mother.

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