Dear little house gnomes,
The next time you see something in our trash that you think might still be useful, like for example a nasty-ass dish scrubbing brush from circa 1985, and you want to keep it, please take it to your little gnome nest and do not put it back INTO MY SINK. Doing so will protect the family from contracting botulism from whatever that brush might have touched during its (too) brief stay in the trash can.
It would also be helpful if you would return all the pacifiers you are hiding.
Thanks so much!