Tuesday, November 7, 2006
Greetings from Post-Partum Fun Town
Yesterday we took Charlie to the pediatrician for his weight and color check. After we checked in they told us to strip him down to his diaper and wait in the waiting room. We ended up waiting for a long time (fortunately we brought Charlie a blanket, he hates being naked. Hates it.) and Charlie slept like a little angel the whole time. I smiled proudly as other parents smiled when the saw him.
Finally the nurse called us back for his checkup. She called "Charles" and it took me a minute to figure out they were calling for us. To give you a clear picture of my mental state during this visit, you should know that I am still on Codine and it was almost lunch time and I was awake only by the grace of the two cups of coffee I'd had that morning. Even checking in was a huge challenge. Questions confuse me. And there were a lot of them. Hard ones like "Baby's name and birthdate?"
As we walked down the hall to the weighing room, Ryan the proud Papa strutting along with his son in his arms, me limping down the hall clutching my handbag and Charlie's carseat, diaper bag, sleeper suit, and sweatshirt, the nurse asked more hard questions like "How many dirty and wet diapers do you change each day?" and "How many times does he eat a day?" and "How are you feeling?" By the time I got to the weighing room I was totally flustered and unable to think. More hard questions "What color is his stool?" Ryan's been changing the diapers. I have no idea. Ryan answered "Um, kinda dark, I guess?" "Dark like what? Is it yellow?" Me: "I HAVE NO IDEA WE'VE BEEN OUT OF THE HOSPITAL FOR A DAY AND A HALF AND THIS IS ALL JUST A LITTLE BIT NEW TO ME WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST LEAVE US THE F$%# ALONE?"
Actually I didn't get to say that because Charlie interruped us all by peeing on the scale when they took his diaper off. And then pooping. And then spitting up. It was awesome. Ryan said "THAT is what color his stool is." That was awesom-er. If I wasn't so mortified I would have high-fived him and said "Boo-yeah!!"
After the weigh-in was over we had to move him to another scale in the tiny room to clean him up and put his diaper back on. Ryan tried to stay calm and quickly take care of the diaper while I stood wedged into a corner behind the scale searching for things in the diaper bag and trying not to act out in exhausted frustration as the nurses brought a steady stream of sullen looking teenagers into the room (which seriously was about six feet square and contained two large infant scales, a sink, and another scale for bigger kids and adults not to mention about five fully grown adults and one very angry four day old baby) to be weighed. Charlie helped his mama by screaming in protest the whole time. Oh my gosh we have to go back there tomorrow for another check-up.
None of this matters of course because Charlie is the cutest, sweetest thing in the whole world. When he finishes eating and burping he goes to sleep on my chest and I could sit there for hours and hours and never move no matter what. When he is waking up he makes sweet squeaking noises and opens his eyes one at a time. When Ryan hands him to me he immediately turns toward me and tries to nurse. He's keeping his eyes open for longer now and seems to be focusing on things like faces when they are close enough. If you haven't met him yet, I can't wait to introduce him to you.