Thursday, September 7, 2006

The stuffed boob and other baby-class antics

Last night was our final baby-care class and the topic was breastfeeding. The instructor got out a stuffed boob with a comically large nipple to demonstrate some techniques. After the demonstration, the instructor continued lecturing, all the while gesturing absentmindedly with the boob. It was almost more than I could handle. After the boob...I mean lecture... we had to try out different relaxation techniques at different stations that were set up around the room. When I came out of the bathroom before we got started, Ryan had gotten us set up at the "massage tool" station. He had me stand there while he tried out everything available in the basket in rapid succession, sometimes two at a time. I liked the tennis balls and the thing that looked like a bunny the best. These relaxation activities always make Ryan and I feel all warm and fuzzy about eachother, like we're really working together for the baby. At the next station, though, we couldn't figure out what the poster was telling us to do. The description sounded a little bit dirty and that gave both of us the giggles. My instructions were to "face my partner with my arms around his neck and use his knees to support my body." Halfway through the fake contraction we were still hissing instructions at eachother and snickering but couldn't figure out what we were supposed to be doing. Finally we settled into a sort of modified slow dance position with me hanging off of Ryan's neck, knees bent, for the remainder of the time, but we were laughing too hard to do the breathing part.This time next week I will be taking my exam. Maybe it's the horomones, but I've attained a certain inner poise about the whole thing. I think it's like what happens when you realize you are going to die and there's nothing you can do about it. Only I'm not going to die. The worst that could happen is that I will fail and let down my advisor and mentor of five years (not to mention a whole bunch of other people at Tech who have helped me along academicaly over the years. Oh and my family, and Ryan, and Charlie, and the entire National Science Foundation, who pays me). So what am I worried about? Bring it.

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