Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Hilarious. Now measure my uterus so I can go have lunch.

I forgot that when I wear this one shirt and skirt together it adds about four weeks of pregnancy to my appearance. I think it makes me look skinny because they are both black and fitted and you can see that I still have a figure, just with an additional big Buda belly. So I was feeling a little preggo-sexy as I walked (waddled) into my doctor's office this morning for my check-up when Dr. O looked up from what she was doing and exclaimed "Holy Cow! How many weeks are you?!" I must look pretty spectacularly huge to impress a woman who sees a new pregnant person every half hour or so every single day. She then said "I'm just jealous, I never had the huge cute belly." (Just how is something supposed to be huge and cute at the same time anyway? Does cute not imply "little"?) I got on the table and Dr. O measured my belly with a tape measure and couldn't resist another little dig "Well I'll write down 33 cm even though it should probably be 34 cm" (Keep in mind that the number of centimeters roughly corresponds to the number of weeks of pregnancy, so I should be between 31 and 32 cm). I told her how Charlie weighed 4.5 pounds and had flipped over from breech to vertex during the ultrasound exam on Monday, which seemed to make me even more of an anomaly. Don't listen to them, Charlie, just keep being your big hyper self. I'm proud of you. But will you please get your precious little head the heck out of my rib cage?At the end of the appointment we talked about scheduling a date for inducing labor. I didn't know we were actually going to pick Charlie's birthday right then. Dr. O said "Since he's so large, I would recommend a scheduled induction so we can avoid a c-section. Nine days early is as early as I would want to go." Thinking out loud, I said casually "That would be November 2nd". "OK," said Dr. O, "I'll pencil you in" and then wrote it on the master calendar for the whole office, "Edwards induction". Just. Like. That. I have to watch what I say around that place! It's exactly what I was hoping for but the entire transaction seemed so casual. Dr. O must schedule hundreds of babies birthdays each year, but it's still a little bit of a far out concept for me. She asked if I had any problems with a scheduled induction but really what I was worried about was the potential of my water breaking in the produce section of United while I'm sizing up the nectarines and deciding whether I should make meatloaf or turkey burgers for dinner. My engineering brain is immediately attracted to a scheduled anything compared to that kind of uncertainty. Not to mention the fact that that would give me nine more days of maternity leave and a baby who is more than one week older at Thanksgiving (and a mama and papa with one more week of experience in baby-wrangling) when we will be joining most of our friends for dinner and football as a family.I may not post tomorrow, but be thinking about me because I'll be taking the written portion of my qualifying exam. Hopefully the baby-fog I've been in for the last month will lift long enough for me to pass with flying colors.

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